For those who don’t follow my blog or don’t know me at all: Hi, I’m Helena.
This post is a little different. Basically it’s a ramble, so bear with me…
A few days ago I decided to delete everything I ever posted on Facebook and Instagram, leaving only the things other people posted on my wall or identified me in it (because it was too much work to remove everything).
You see, I didn’t quit social media because I can’t… My school and my job are very connected with social media and if I quitted I would lose a lot of important information. What I did was ghosting my self. That means I do not show my face – no pictures – I do not post so has for other people’s concern I do not exist (take that Descartes!)
But why? We all stalk people, I know I do. But what happens when you see the person face to face?
I have my fair share of stalkers or people I want to impress. My plan was perfect: If I was mad I would post an angry quote, if I was sad I’d do the exact same thing. If I wanted to make someone jealous I would post a smoking hot picture, I would do anything BUT communicate with people and that was exhausting.
The sad thing is: I felt so lonely all the time. What good brings fabricating your life online if your real life is a pit of darkness (too much?). I was happy when I saw certain people stalking my Instagram stories or liking my posts but did they called me to arrange a meet up? NO!
Did my ex-boyfriend suddenly and magically by liking my stuff felt back in love with me and crawled back like a little baby (as I’d image he would)? Did by boss saw my full potential when I posted a poem from some author I didn’t even heard about since 3 full seconds ago while searching “poems + quotes + tumblr” on google images? NO!
So I tried something new. I’m ghosting and waiting. Waiting for those who matter to call me up for coffee or actually wanting to know what I’m up to, without me having to take a picture every hour or so.
I feel free. I won’t be a hiprocrate and say this decision is forever. Human beings are a never-ending needy creatures and social media, well, it fills a few voids we have, but for now: come and see me or forget all about me.